upper bottom grazing

is today wednesday already? this has already been one of those weeks where i simply cannot contain time. it actually started last friday. it was like i went to bed and woke up and it was wednesday. i remember stuff from each day and what not, but im still surprised at how fast the past few days flew by.

perhaps getting to meet chelsea handler this saturday sent my inner time clock on a hiatus. and word to your mother, i did in fact meet miss handler. i went to her show here in boston saturday night with my wife and another couple, but before that we went to dine at a restaurant close by. we've been there a few times so the people there 'know us' and one of the chef's comes out and is like, 'you'll never guess who's eating here...chelsea handler!' i took this as a sign from God that i was supposed to meet her and get a compromising photo. we quickly went over and met her, her assistant eva that was AMAZINGLY gracious, as well as chelsea lately regular, heather mcdonald. i of course skipped the handshake and went in for the hug. i can proudly say that she sorta grazed my bottom after our embrace. i think she did anyway. i may have imagined it, but thats neither here nor there. we all took pictures with her but the only cameras we had were the camera phone variety and they all unfortunately came out blurry. oh well, the meeting is still emblazoned in my head and upper part of my rump.

the show was hilarious, as expected, and two things i noticed about the whole night was: 1) this could potentially be taken the wrong way, but chelsea handler is better looking in person. not that she's unfortunate looking or anything on tv, but usually its the opposite ya know. 2) heather mcdonald is funnier in person. again, not that she isnt funny on the show, but she opened for chelsea and her stand up is hilarious.

i already had her newest book, but we also got an autographed copy which she personalized. watching her stand up is like having her read her books to you. she tells the same funny ass, borderline racist jokes that had everyone cracking up. not to mention that when she smiles, her whole face lights up. she had me laughing at times simply because she was laughing so hard and had trouble containing herself. gotta love it when someone tells a story and they themselves crack up.


later that evening i watched saturday night live, but not just any saturday night live, it was hosted by tina fey. i love tina fey as much as i do chelsea handler and betty white and seeing her on snl again made me happier than adam lambert in a cucumber garden. the only bad part about the show was the musical guest. it was justin bieber, which is odd because he doesnt technically make music, but whatever. i actually ended up getting pissed because that 'baby' song was stuck in my head like pb&j and it is a terrible terrible 'song'. i mean i get why kids like the jonas brothers (even though i swear none of them look alike. i guess the 'jonas cousins' doesnt quite have the same ring to it) and other pop sensations like bieber, but i get annoyed at all the crap on the radio these days. its not even whether or not you can sing, its more about how your hair looks and sways across your face. i remember when people were fascinated that j-lo and jaime fox could both sing AND act. now its like EVERY single kid from the disney channel can do both (for the record, j-lo's music is terrible and coma inducing).....whatever im rambling.


to make the weekend even more exciting, i found a five dollar bill in my jeans pocket. i dont care how much money a person makes, finding money in your jeans is like finding hay in the needle stack.(think about that one) i say this to express how good chelsea's show was, as well as, seeing tina fey on snl again. experiencing both in one day was better than me finding a twenty spot in megan fox's jeans. but regrettably, bieber on snl was more painful than watching spencer and heidi pratt play a game of scrabble. i say this because im sure everyone would grow weary of saying things like, 'dammit spencer! theres no 'R' in the word 'cat'!' or 'okay heidi. how many times are you going to try and use 'plastic surgery'?

hehe, get it? get it?