Wednesday, April 14, 2010

upper bottom grazing

is today wednesday already? this has already been one of those weeks where i simply cannot contain time. it actually started last friday. it was like i went to bed and woke up and it was wednesday. i remember stuff from each day and what not, but im still surprised at how fast the past few days flew by.

perhaps getting to meet chelsea handler this saturday sent my inner time clock on a hiatus. and word to your mother, i did in fact meet miss handler. i went to her show here in boston saturday night with my wife and another couple, but before that we went to dine at a restaurant close by. we've been there a few times so the people there 'know us' and one of the chef's comes out and is like, 'you'll never guess who's eating here...chelsea handler!' i took this as a sign from God that i was supposed to meet her and get a compromising photo. we quickly went over and met her, her assistant eva that was AMAZINGLY gracious, as well as chelsea lately regular, heather mcdonald. i of course skipped the handshake and went in for the hug. i can proudly say that she sorta grazed my bottom after our embrace. i think she did anyway. i may have imagined it, but thats neither here nor there. we all took pictures with her but the only cameras we had were the camera phone variety and they all unfortunately came out blurry. oh well, the meeting is still emblazoned in my head and upper part of my rump.

the show was hilarious, as expected, and two things i noticed about the whole night was: 1) this could potentially be taken the wrong way, but chelsea handler is better looking in person. not that she's unfortunate looking or anything on tv, but usually its the opposite ya know. 2) heather mcdonald is funnier in person. again, not that she isnt funny on the show, but she opened for chelsea and her stand up is hilarious.

i already had her newest book, but we also got an autographed copy which she personalized. watching her stand up is like having her read her books to you. she tells the same funny ass, borderline racist jokes that had everyone cracking up. not to mention that when she smiles, her whole face lights up. she had me laughing at times simply because she was laughing so hard and had trouble containing herself. gotta love it when someone tells a story and they themselves crack up.

later that evening i watched saturday night live, but not just any saturday night live, it was hosted by tina fey. i love tina fey as much as i do chelsea handler and betty white and seeing her on snl again made me happier than adam lambert in a cucumber garden. the only bad part about the show was the musical guest. it was justin bieber, which is odd because he doesnt technically make music, but whatever. i actually ended up getting pissed because that 'baby' song was stuck in my head like pb&j and it is a terrible terrible 'song'. i mean i get why kids like the jonas brothers (even though i swear none of them look alike. i guess the 'jonas cousins' doesnt quite have the same ring to it) and other pop sensations like bieber, but i get annoyed at all the crap on the radio these days. its not even whether or not you can sing, its more about how your hair looks and sways across your face. i remember when people were fascinated that j-lo and jaime fox could both sing AND act. now its like EVERY single kid from the disney channel can do both (for the record, j-lo's music is terrible and coma inducing).....whatever im rambling.

to make the weekend even more exciting, i found a five dollar bill in my jeans pocket. i dont care how much money a person makes, finding money in your jeans is like finding hay in the needle stack.(think about that one) i say this to express how good chelsea's show was, as well as, seeing tina fey on snl again. experiencing both in one day was better than me finding a twenty spot in megan fox's jeans. but regrettably, bieber on snl was more painful than watching spencer and heidi pratt play a game of scrabble. i say this because im sure everyone would grow weary of saying things like, 'dammit spencer! theres no 'R' in the word 'cat'!' or 'okay heidi. how many times are you going to try and use 'plastic surgery'?

hehe, get it? get it?


Brittney said...

lucky! I wanna go to a chelsea handler show she pretty much defines awesome!! :)
Sounds like all in all you've had a good week!

I saw that SNL with Beiber.. i too had that song stuck in my head haha

Choleesa said...

i LOVE Chelsea!!!
Adam Lambert in a cucumber garden...priceless.
Justin Bieber who?? Im sorry, but if your voice has not hit puberty, and I feel like I am listening to the Disney Radio channel while you sing, then you AINT considered talented. Once puberty hits, that sweet little voice of yours is gone. J-Lo, yeah, I agree with you on the music front, and really, other than Selena, can she even act??

Linda Medrano said...

I love Chelsea! My 13 year old grand daughter has pictures of Justin all over. What am I not seeing here? Dumb little kids! I'm glad you had a magical eve! And got your butt squeezed, (or tapped), (or petted), (or patted).

Jori said...

My husband and I are big Chelsea fans. Not so much about Long Boobs, but hey...they can't all be Ms. Handler, right? Jealous! Glad you had a great time.

Sheliza said...

Chelsea is awesome with her rawness!! And the Adam Lambert in a cucumber garden has me laughing my tail off for real!!! So many supposed singers who can't sing is beyond me. Yeah that lame "baby" song does get stuck in your head doesn't it?! Loving the random foolishness :)

K. Rock said...

Sounds like you had your head in the clouds this weekend. Chelsea Handler is cool but I luv Tina Fey. She is really funny.
And Beiber is not my cup of tea but the kids like him. You know you used to be into New Edition when they hit the scene. They all had that pre-pubescent voice.

bananas. said...

first of all, do NOT diss on my bieber. love that little guy.

second, SO BEYOND jealous that you got to meet my hero chelsea. i know what you mean about looks. i personally think she's pretty but on tv she looks wayyy older than her 30 something age.

and that tina fey snl episode was the best. i am refusing to delete from my DVR just so i can watch that sketch she did with bieber over and over and over...again.

Anonymous said...

you are now like the third blogger i've read in the past two weeks with a chelsea handler encounter. so. freaking. jealous.

and i have to admit, while justin beiber is practically a fetus, i love that baby song. i tried to deny myself, but it was inevitable. i even sing it in the car. *sigh*

karen said...

I heart Chelsea Handler so am very jealous, just sayin!! And yes for the record, Jamie Foxx can sing AND act....J-Lo not so much. If I ever happen to "run into" beiber I will be holding him down and cutting his damn hair, again just sayin! That's all, carry on

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texas, United States
im married to one succulent momma and we have 3 supremo kids. i like corn dogs, star wars, toothbrushes with the grip and there isnt really much more to say of interest about me. well other than the fact that i can moonwalk and count to 10 by 5's.

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