whew, well its been quite some time since my last post. it wasnt a planned hiatus, but once training camp started my mind became mush and could basically only process football information. so for a good three-six weeks, even the simplest of tasks were forced out of my brain which is why i havent been able to participate in the following: use any deodorant that doesnt spray, eaten pb&j sandwiches (that werent the pre-made sort that is), tied my shoes, eaten hard boiled eggs, used vending machines, shelled a pecan or pistachio, hit a pinata, or used a mechanical pencil.
having said that, to get back blogging again, ive decided to target (un)reality tv shows. just to be clear i hate ALL of them! i mean really, how is this crap so widely watched? its hardly 'real' OR 'reality' as its all scripted nonsense. i really loathe this genre of tv more than: house music, people that reverse into parking spots, the ever annoying '20 wiper', and all the swine flu coverage, or should i say the 'R2D2 virus' or whatever its called...combined!
i guess i should say that american idol is the one exception, but that s more along the lines of being 'real' ya dig. also those dancing shows fit here, but im simply not a fan.
also, how does putting a camera in someone's house make them celebrities? take 'john and kate plus 8', what exactly do they do that makes them famous? wouldnt that mean when people were interviewed by a local news station, they should now have to duck the paparazzi if they end up facing marital troubles? i simply just dont see how these folks are in those trashy smut magazines or on crap shows like 'extra'.
anyhow, even though we've officially started our season, i do plan to post but am not making any guarantees ; )
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
i hate drama
long story short, in general, people suck and are to be avoided at all costs. because people suck, generally speaking that is, i dont trust alot of people and honestly i dont forgive well either. thats another story for another time mainly because i can already feel myself getting pissed again!
theres 7 things i know of that 'fix' me right up when i get pissed or aggravated. this list is:
1. 'relations'
2. 'relations'
3. talking about 'relations'
4. thinking about 'relations'
5. randomly blogging
6. peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
7. and combining #'s 1-4 of this list and possibly #6...dont ask
so because only #'s 4, 5, and 6 can be...wait, SHOULD be done with kids in the vicinity, randomly blogging will have to do...what time is bed time again??
having said that, i havent posted in a while but that doesnt mean my dome hasnt stopped functioning abnormally or fixating itself on obscure, irrelevant, even trite things. anyway, here's to randomness and pissing on drama.
btw, i dont literally hate people. that was the frustr...nevermind, yes i do!
1. first off, in a previous blog i said that toast with butter and grape jelly was severely underrated. now im saying that twinkies are soooo nauseatingly overrated. its like a sponge with mayonnaise stuffed in it. (did i just use the word nauseatingly??)
2. i lover ginger ale but 'canada dry' is a ridiculous name for a brand. no offense to canadiens ay, just sayin ya know. i mean how ridiculous would a similar drink be if we called it 'american wet' or 'united states damp'? again, just sayin.
3. what was God thinking when he created both snakes and spiders? i mean couldnt he forsee that the crap movies '8 legged freaks' and 'snakes on a plane' would spawn from these creations?
4. we took our kids to this indoor/outdoor waterpark in the dallas area the other day and had a blast. other than getting all kinds of stares from on-lookers in regards to all the tattoos we sport, (all three of our kids were COVERED in those fake stick on tats and my wife and i both have quite a few) we had a blast. one night i was staring at the ceiling, as i often do, thinking about the days events and what all i had to do to keep myself from beating up that jerk kid who tried to push my son bc he couldnt get the inner tube from him as we floated down the lazy river. but thats besides the point, what i was trying to say was that while i thought on all this, i started wondering...what the hell are all those 'bumps' on the ceiling?? we had them on the ceiling of the house i grew up in and i would often make shapes out of those, but never asked the question of just what the hell are they?! if you've never seen them they look like the ceiling has a bad case of the chicken pox or like someone, for whatever reason, decide to stick a crap load of those 'french burnt peanuts candies' on the ceiling and paint over them. if you dont know what french burnt peanuts candies are, google it ya lazy bum.
5. why can i spell the word 'regularly' without problems, but as soon as i try to say it, the word soon sounds like a collection of l' and r's scatteres at will. audibly it sounds like 'regularlaly'. really frustrating to sound like a bumbling six year old when doing radio interviews.
reporter: so sammy hows your offseason going? you work out much?
me the apparent six year old: its been great. ive been working out regularaly, i mean regul,ahem, i mean often.
6. peach cobbler is one of my favorite desserts, but i think im going to call it something else. 'cobbler' doesnt sound very appetizing in my opinion. maybe it should be called 'megan fox'.
7. a wet bar is what?
8. so if uni-brow means a single hilarious block of hair with little to no separation above the eyes, a uni-cycle means a single wheel with little to no relevance to anyone other than circus performers, what the hell does uni-sex mean?? shouldnt the clothing or whatever be called 'bi-sex' clothing?...just sayin
9. are dogs offended by humans morning breath? if so, the nerve.
that'll be all
theres 7 things i know of that 'fix' me right up when i get pissed or aggravated. this list is:
1. 'relations'
2. 'relations'
3. talking about 'relations'
4. thinking about 'relations'
5. randomly blogging
6. peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
7. and combining #'s 1-4 of this list and possibly #6...dont ask
so because only #'s 4, 5, and 6 can be...wait, SHOULD be done with kids in the vicinity, randomly blogging will have to do...what time is bed time again??
having said that, i havent posted in a while but that doesnt mean my dome hasnt stopped functioning abnormally or fixating itself on obscure, irrelevant, even trite things. anyway, here's to randomness and pissing on drama.
btw, i dont literally hate people. that was the frustr...nevermind, yes i do!
1. first off, in a previous blog i said that toast with butter and grape jelly was severely underrated. now im saying that twinkies are soooo nauseatingly overrated. its like a sponge with mayonnaise stuffed in it. (did i just use the word nauseatingly??)
2. i lover ginger ale but 'canada dry' is a ridiculous name for a brand. no offense to canadiens ay, just sayin ya know. i mean how ridiculous would a similar drink be if we called it 'american wet' or 'united states damp'? again, just sayin.
3. what was God thinking when he created both snakes and spiders? i mean couldnt he forsee that the crap movies '8 legged freaks' and 'snakes on a plane' would spawn from these creations?
4. we took our kids to this indoor/outdoor waterpark in the dallas area the other day and had a blast. other than getting all kinds of stares from on-lookers in regards to all the tattoos we sport, (all three of our kids were COVERED in those fake stick on tats and my wife and i both have quite a few) we had a blast. one night i was staring at the ceiling, as i often do, thinking about the days events and what all i had to do to keep myself from beating up that jerk kid who tried to push my son bc he couldnt get the inner tube from him as we floated down the lazy river. but thats besides the point, what i was trying to say was that while i thought on all this, i started wondering...what the hell are all those 'bumps' on the ceiling?? we had them on the ceiling of the house i grew up in and i would often make shapes out of those, but never asked the question of just what the hell are they?! if you've never seen them they look like the ceiling has a bad case of the chicken pox or like someone, for whatever reason, decide to stick a crap load of those 'french burnt peanuts candies' on the ceiling and paint over them. if you dont know what french burnt peanuts candies are, google it ya lazy bum.
5. why can i spell the word 'regularly' without problems, but as soon as i try to say it, the word soon sounds like a collection of l' and r's scatteres at will. audibly it sounds like 'regularlaly'. really frustrating to sound like a bumbling six year old when doing radio interviews.
reporter: so sammy hows your offseason going? you work out much?
me the apparent six year old: its been great. ive been working out regularaly, i mean regul,ahem, i mean often.
6. peach cobbler is one of my favorite desserts, but i think im going to call it something else. 'cobbler' doesnt sound very appetizing in my opinion. maybe it should be called 'megan fox'.
7. a wet bar is what?
8. so if uni-brow means a single hilarious block of hair with little to no separation above the eyes, a uni-cycle means a single wheel with little to no relevance to anyone other than circus performers, what the hell does uni-sex mean?? shouldnt the clothing or whatever be called 'bi-sex' clothing?...just sayin
9. are dogs offended by humans morning breath? if so, the nerve.
that'll be all
Friday, July 3, 2009
i hate 90% of email forwards buuuuut...
this one is one is probably the funniest one ive seen in a long time! it was actually sent to me at least 4 years ago but ive kept it over the years because it cracks me up to no end!!!
ive heard that this is from a dutch comedy show or something, but its still hilarious! its not even in english but trust me you dont even have to know what he's saying to laugh hysterically! the couple is on this talk show to speak about a tragic hospital stay. i dont mean tragic in that anyone lost their life, no nothing that miniscule. this man and his wife are talking about a procedure where his, ahem, testicles were removed on accident. folks im laughing as i type...its only a minute and a half long and i just posted the link because i havent the slightest as to how to post youtube videos.
hilariousness
ive heard that this is from a dutch comedy show or something, but its still hilarious! its not even in english but trust me you dont even have to know what he's saying to laugh hysterically! the couple is on this talk show to speak about a tragic hospital stay. i dont mean tragic in that anyone lost their life, no nothing that miniscule. this man and his wife are talking about a procedure where his, ahem, testicles were removed on accident. folks im laughing as i type...its only a minute and a half long and i just posted the link because i havent the slightest as to how to post youtube videos.
hilariousness
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
i was at the grocery store the other day and while i was passing the aisle/area where the bologna, bacon, and other crap 'foods' reside and i couldnt help but wonder...does anyone even eat bologna any more? i personally find it to be absolute filth and the mystery 'meats' slimy texture alone is enough make one vomit. i seriously dry heave just by typing it. bologna? even the name sounds ridiculously foul. bologna?? what the hell is it made of?...anyway, yuck.
also lurking in the area is another rather odd food...hot dogs. now im not either for them nor against them, in regards to attempting to digest one. having said that, i am completely against trying to eat gobs of them at a time. im talking about these hot dog eating contests people always partake in. so when i got home i googled hot dog eating contests and this link is actually from last year but the horridness remains the same.
it just seems to me that with all the starving people in the world, a face stuffing competition wouldnt/couldnt take place. right? i wonder if the one driving the food to the competition passed any homeless people and thought about how insane this is.
i dont know, just sayin...
also lurking in the area is another rather odd food...hot dogs. now im not either for them nor against them, in regards to attempting to digest one. having said that, i am completely against trying to eat gobs of them at a time. im talking about these hot dog eating contests people always partake in. so when i got home i googled hot dog eating contests and this link is actually from last year but the horridness remains the same.
it just seems to me that with all the starving people in the world, a face stuffing competition wouldnt/couldnt take place. right? i wonder if the one driving the food to the competition passed any homeless people and thought about how insane this is.
i dont know, just sayin...
Sunday, June 28, 2009
tats, mike, and a little clarity
i personally love tattoos. i like them ON me as well as seeing other people's artistic ventures. i got yet another a month or so ago and will be going again in the next few days. my wife actually has waaaaay more than i do and theres also more to come on her. i like it when women can pull off the tats they have. in my opinion, some girls can pull off 'excessive' tats and some simply cannot. i dont know what it is about the girl that she HAS to have to pull it off well but i know it when i see it. my kids will be tatted up by the time they're legally able to do it. they always draw them on themselves and pretend to put em on my wife and i. pretty cool in my opinion. anyway, i was thumbing through one of the 8 quazillion tattoo magazines and i saw a woman with a paris hilton on her foot. yes it pains me to mention it folks, but yes i said paris hilton. not a tat of the hilton hotel in paris where she traded nuptials with her man. nope, it was "that" paris hilton. it actually got me to thinking...
ive been traveling alot and havent had the chance to post on the death of mike, aka, michael jackson. ive seen or heard alot of people talking rather negatively about how most radio stations paying tribute to him by playing his songs pretty much all day. i heard one guy say, 'oh lets honor a child molester'. though i understand where these people are coming from, i still have to object to the negativity.
(soooo...and to now somehow try and make sense of my ramblings and how tats, miss hilton, and mike have a common bond in my brain...)
without a doubt, celebrities or people we idolize (sometimes negatively) play a huge role in our lives. i guess what i had to reconcile mentally was how i could feel such a loss over, not only someone ive never met, but someone with such a...checkered or, at least, questionable past. now i wasnt like in the dumps and depressed all day or anything, but i did feel a sense of loss and was in disbelief. for me, music is so incredibly nostalgic and as a result, the artists somehow become part of my life. i was talking with dawn today and we both were talking about how we could remember where we were when he would have a new video released on tv, or painfully trying to mimic the entire dance sequence of thriller. i distinctly remember my mom damn near driving of the road when i told her that i thought he was saying 'f@ck it' in 'beat it' when he was actually saying 'funky'. there are just so many instances where the nostalgia runs so deep, that i can still, after all these years, remember how i felt at that moment. i can remember the joy and laughter that echoed through my house as my brother and i laughed at each other stumbling over our feet. all because of a simple song or video. after watching all the tributes on tv, i couldnt help thinking, 'wow, i cant believe he's really gone.' when i first heard the news, via text message from a friend, his death hadnt been confirmed yet and i kept thinking, no, hoping, he would pull through and that the media had somehow jumped the gun. unfortunately as we all know, he didnt make it. i for one am saddened regardless of how much he physically morphed into almost a different person and yes even with the allegations laid against him.
ive been traveling alot and havent had the chance to post on the death of mike, aka, michael jackson. ive seen or heard alot of people talking rather negatively about how most radio stations paying tribute to him by playing his songs pretty much all day. i heard one guy say, 'oh lets honor a child molester'. though i understand where these people are coming from, i still have to object to the negativity.
(soooo...and to now somehow try and make sense of my ramblings and how tats, miss hilton, and mike have a common bond in my brain...)
without a doubt, celebrities or people we idolize (sometimes negatively) play a huge role in our lives. i guess what i had to reconcile mentally was how i could feel such a loss over, not only someone ive never met, but someone with such a...checkered or, at least, questionable past. now i wasnt like in the dumps and depressed all day or anything, but i did feel a sense of loss and was in disbelief. for me, music is so incredibly nostalgic and as a result, the artists somehow become part of my life. i was talking with dawn today and we both were talking about how we could remember where we were when he would have a new video released on tv, or painfully trying to mimic the entire dance sequence of thriller. i distinctly remember my mom damn near driving of the road when i told her that i thought he was saying 'f@ck it' in 'beat it' when he was actually saying 'funky'. there are just so many instances where the nostalgia runs so deep, that i can still, after all these years, remember how i felt at that moment. i can remember the joy and laughter that echoed through my house as my brother and i laughed at each other stumbling over our feet. all because of a simple song or video. after watching all the tributes on tv, i couldnt help thinking, 'wow, i cant believe he's really gone.' when i first heard the news, via text message from a friend, his death hadnt been confirmed yet and i kept thinking, no, hoping, he would pull through and that the media had somehow jumped the gun. unfortunately as we all know, he didnt make it. i for one am saddened regardless of how much he physically morphed into almost a different person and yes even with the allegations laid against him.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
truth be told...
...i HAD to post something, anything, so that a sprawled out adam 'cher' lambert wasnt the first thing i see every time i click on my page...(shudder)
anyway, i was out of town for the weekend in the great yet ultra dusty lubbock, texas. lubbock is in good ole west texas and is the location of my alma mater, texas tech baby! i was there for a football camp for kids and it went really well. i left wednesday afternoon and naturally my flight was canceled. while waiting to get reassigned, i had an absolute blast, all by myself, just sitting and laughing, laughing and sitting just 'people watching' in the airport! i am thoroughly convinced that the airport is the best place to go people watch. along those lines, i also think that while there, i become the most random. not to mention ive felt extremely random the past week or so...gotta...start...sleeping...more!
the following is all stuff i actually took time to weigh, ponder, or consider in my brain in between the times i spent chuckling at all the un-coordination on display while people awkwardly made the dash for their gate. i swear im going to bring a video camera and just record those that were obviously out doing math problems or something while God was handing out coordination.
hilarious
anyway, i give you my brain in blizzle(blog) form...
1. what is it about the airport experience that somehow causes the decibel level of people's voices to apparently raise a few octaves? i mean really, whether boarding or getting off the plane, or just at the airport in general, people seemingly talk plate scraping annoyingly loud! and im sick of it. they're not even relaying anything all that important. i could care less about your flight experience or what you want for dinner that night. all i hear is 'blah blah blah get my bags. blah blah blah cracker barrel. blah blah blah etc
2. speaking of volume, i think the PA system at airports has two settings: church mouse or dragons roar. i almost ended up in grand rapids because i couldnt hear the guy, then just minutes later my eardrum bled because of the inconsistency.
3. whatever happened to neve campbell? she used to be kinda hot but then she disappeared.
4. 'mtv' should change their acronym to 'crstv' which translated means 'crap reality show television'. i remember back in the day when they actually had videos.
5. why is flossing publically considered impolite or rude? actually, WHO was it that decided it was not to be done? its gotta be better than that sound people make when they try to suck the food debris from in between their teeth.
6. when im at the airport alone, i always try to find an area lightly populated to sit down and wait. ESPECIALLY when i have a longer wait bc of cancelled flight. anyway, i found this prime location just a few gates down from where i would be taking off from and decided to camp out there and read my magazine with megan fox(hubba hubba) on the cover. about 15 mins into my search for solace, some loud ass lady, on a damn cell phone, comes and plops down right next to me. mind you there were plenty of seats NOT next to me, but nooooo she wants to get all in my kool-aid. i didnt want to appear snobby or rude so i just sat there for about 15 mins before getting up to 'use the bathroom'. i didnt even have to go but i actually went to the john like i did. i saw that she was still squatting on my land after my fake bathroom trip, so i just roamed and actually found a decent seat at my gate and waited there even though there was more people in the general area. fortunately i didnt have to worry about some lady with terrible seat awareness basically grinding on my leg.
8. toast with butter and grape jelly is highly underrated
7. is it just me, or do none of the jonas brothers actually look like brothers? i guess the 'jonas cousins' didnt have the same ring to it huh.
8. not only are alot of people extra loud at and around airports, the movies seem to also bring out this annoying quality. will someone please explain to me why it is soooo cool to talk loud while entering the theater and while the previews are showing. 'hey everyone, listen to how cool i can be.'...'hey blake, are we going to the bar after the movies?'...damn thats annoying
9. megan fox
10. while standing SECOND in line to get my flight squared away with chipper (sarcastic) lady behind the desk, this guy walks up behind me and this convo actually happened...
him-are you in line?
me-uhh yes i am. (of course this is with that smartass look like 'are we really having this conversation?')
him- oh okay. sorry, i didnt know if you were waiting for the other guy.
me- (befuddled) what other guy?
him- oh nevermind i dont know what im saying
me- oh...okay??
there was only one person behind the counter and it wasnt a guy. he was in a panicky rush and my best guess is that he was either in rush to get to the front of the line so he could hurry and get his flt squared away or he was on crack. he probably wanted to cut in line like an eight year old trying to get to lunch quicker. well panicky crackhead guy i say no way jose! the people behind me had to wait, i had to wait, so guess who else gets to wait? thats right, i dont care how bad you want to get to the front of line. the enchiladas will still be there by the time you arrive.
anyway, i was out of town for the weekend in the great yet ultra dusty lubbock, texas. lubbock is in good ole west texas and is the location of my alma mater, texas tech baby! i was there for a football camp for kids and it went really well. i left wednesday afternoon and naturally my flight was canceled. while waiting to get reassigned, i had an absolute blast, all by myself, just sitting and laughing, laughing and sitting just 'people watching' in the airport! i am thoroughly convinced that the airport is the best place to go people watch. along those lines, i also think that while there, i become the most random. not to mention ive felt extremely random the past week or so...gotta...start...sleeping...more!
the following is all stuff i actually took time to weigh, ponder, or consider in my brain in between the times i spent chuckling at all the un-coordination on display while people awkwardly made the dash for their gate. i swear im going to bring a video camera and just record those that were obviously out doing math problems or something while God was handing out coordination.
hilarious
anyway, i give you my brain in blizzle(blog) form...
1. what is it about the airport experience that somehow causes the decibel level of people's voices to apparently raise a few octaves? i mean really, whether boarding or getting off the plane, or just at the airport in general, people seemingly talk plate scraping annoyingly loud! and im sick of it. they're not even relaying anything all that important. i could care less about your flight experience or what you want for dinner that night. all i hear is 'blah blah blah get my bags. blah blah blah cracker barrel. blah blah blah etc
2. speaking of volume, i think the PA system at airports has two settings: church mouse or dragons roar. i almost ended up in grand rapids because i couldnt hear the guy, then just minutes later my eardrum bled because of the inconsistency.
3. whatever happened to neve campbell? she used to be kinda hot but then she disappeared.
4. 'mtv' should change their acronym to 'crstv' which translated means 'crap reality show television'. i remember back in the day when they actually had videos.
5. why is flossing publically considered impolite or rude? actually, WHO was it that decided it was not to be done? its gotta be better than that sound people make when they try to suck the food debris from in between their teeth.
6. when im at the airport alone, i always try to find an area lightly populated to sit down and wait. ESPECIALLY when i have a longer wait bc of cancelled flight. anyway, i found this prime location just a few gates down from where i would be taking off from and decided to camp out there and read my magazine with megan fox(hubba hubba) on the cover. about 15 mins into my search for solace, some loud ass lady, on a damn cell phone, comes and plops down right next to me. mind you there were plenty of seats NOT next to me, but nooooo she wants to get all in my kool-aid. i didnt want to appear snobby or rude so i just sat there for about 15 mins before getting up to 'use the bathroom'. i didnt even have to go but i actually went to the john like i did. i saw that she was still squatting on my land after my fake bathroom trip, so i just roamed and actually found a decent seat at my gate and waited there even though there was more people in the general area. fortunately i didnt have to worry about some lady with terrible seat awareness basically grinding on my leg.
8. toast with butter and grape jelly is highly underrated
7. is it just me, or do none of the jonas brothers actually look like brothers? i guess the 'jonas cousins' didnt have the same ring to it huh.
8. not only are alot of people extra loud at and around airports, the movies seem to also bring out this annoying quality. will someone please explain to me why it is soooo cool to talk loud while entering the theater and while the previews are showing. 'hey everyone, listen to how cool i can be.'...'hey blake, are we going to the bar after the movies?'...damn thats annoying
9. megan fox
10. while standing SECOND in line to get my flight squared away with chipper (sarcastic) lady behind the desk, this guy walks up behind me and this convo actually happened...
him-are you in line?
me-uhh yes i am. (of course this is with that smartass look like 'are we really having this conversation?')
him- oh okay. sorry, i didnt know if you were waiting for the other guy.
me- (befuddled) what other guy?
him- oh nevermind i dont know what im saying
me- oh...okay??
there was only one person behind the counter and it wasnt a guy. he was in a panicky rush and my best guess is that he was either in rush to get to the front of the line so he could hurry and get his flt squared away or he was on crack. he probably wanted to cut in line like an eight year old trying to get to lunch quicker. well panicky crackhead guy i say no way jose! the people behind me had to wait, i had to wait, so guess who else gets to wait? thats right, i dont care how bad you want to get to the front of line. the enchiladas will still be there by the time you arrive.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
GASP!!!
so if you've read any of my blog you know that im a pretty big idol fan. you also know that alison was robbed but i digress.
in this issue, glam, not to mention theatrical, rocker adam lambert dishes on his sexuality and thus finally clearing up all the 'doubts' viewers of the show may have had. i for one am glad he finally did the interview and cleared things up. i mean what a shocker! next thing you know joan rivers will do a 5 page spread for people magazine letting us know she has in fact had plastic surgery. or donald trump will do a story revealing that he actually does use , or over use, hair products. or what about the story hugh hefner will undoubtedly do letting us in on the fact that he does employ the services viagra provides (or some other bedroom 'aid'.)
of course this all supposed to read sarcastically as i could care less about his homosexuality. he is still an overly dramatic singer in my opinion and thats whether he likes guys named kris allen or girls named...well kris allen! hehe, in the article he also dishes about his crush on kris allen...yuck
Saturday, June 13, 2009
mall walkers
really?
seriously?
you cant go to a track or nearby neighborhood? or hell i dont know... the gym?
the mall? really? well lets just try and find the easiest place to 'workout'. i think theres a spa around the corner if you want to do some lunges or maybe jog, i mean, walk in place.
just sayin
seriously?
you cant go to a track or nearby neighborhood? or hell i dont know... the gym?
the mall? really? well lets just try and find the easiest place to 'workout'. i think theres a spa around the corner if you want to do some lunges or maybe jog, i mean, walk in place.
just sayin
Thursday, June 11, 2009
BACON!!!
i seriously thought this was a joke when i first heard it.
i dont know how or what would possess someone to actually take the time to even try and see if this would even taste okay. i mean at what point of ones day are they actually even around vodka and bacon at the same time? okay okay well maybe on a cheeseburger or something while at a bar but the question remains, who would ever think to combine the two?? i think there are just somethings that OUGHT NOT be allowed to be mixed in some irrational, obscure contraption and bacon is absolutely on this list!...gross
i find it pretty funny that the bottle has it listed as a 'premium bacon flavored vodka'...riiiiight. i think they should have went with a 'preposterous bacon flavored vodka.' i know the saying 'dont knock it til you try it' but that crap simply cannot be applied to everything!
if i ever find the following on a restaurant menu, i promise i will politely gather my stuff, and head for the nearest exit. what would you do if you found these items on a menu:
salsa flavored milkshake
omlette flavored wine
vanilla ice cream with bell peppers
ham cheesecake
...and of course bacon flavored vodka
i feel sick to my stomach talking about it so i'll stop there.
i dont know how or what would possess someone to actually take the time to even try and see if this would even taste okay. i mean at what point of ones day are they actually even around vodka and bacon at the same time? okay okay well maybe on a cheeseburger or something while at a bar but the question remains, who would ever think to combine the two?? i think there are just somethings that OUGHT NOT be allowed to be mixed in some irrational, obscure contraption and bacon is absolutely on this list!...gross
i find it pretty funny that the bottle has it listed as a 'premium bacon flavored vodka'...riiiiight. i think they should have went with a 'preposterous bacon flavored vodka.' i know the saying 'dont knock it til you try it' but that crap simply cannot be applied to everything!
if i ever find the following on a restaurant menu, i promise i will politely gather my stuff, and head for the nearest exit. what would you do if you found these items on a menu:
salsa flavored milkshake
omlette flavored wine
vanilla ice cream with bell peppers
ham cheesecake
...and of course bacon flavored vodka
i feel sick to my stomach talking about it so i'll stop there.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
ghost in the staircase remix
i recently posted one of my favorite pics and thought i'd share the work my wife did to change it up some.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
the bible leaves out the part that satan was actually reincarnated
thats right folks! well thats the only logical explanation of this crap. i mean just look at the things! how is that not demonic?!
i havent the slightest as to who actually purchases the sugary, lard, celluite mixture. (sorry but they just remind me of celluite in a bag). everything about the candy itself is a mystery to me. i mean why circus peanuts? my guess is that someone was infatuated with the circus and thought that naming a candy 'circus peanuts' would be a nice gesture. i dont have a problem with that per se, but why single out the peanuts? if anything the name should be 'circus droppings' because that is what they most resemble.
at any rate, beseech the masses that circus peanuts are the devil!!!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
as katy perry sings, 'thats what you get for waking up in vegas!!'
thats right, for memorial weekend i was in las vegas with a friend from college, my agent, and two other guys i met for the first time who are teaming up with him. anyway, long and foggy story short, i pretty much need another vacation to recover from the previous! as a result, im still dead tired and havent even had the time nor energy to write anything of substance...wait a second, this blog rarely has anything of substance! hmmm, well on that note.....
i havent even had the chance to gather my thoughts on the american idol finale, which sucked by the way. my final american idol dissertation will be up soon, but for the time being i figured i would just mention a few random tidbits i, for whatever reason, think about...
1. how come alex trebek and larry king look their age, but pat sajak and vanna white look like they've aged about 5 years over the past 2 decades?
2. how come very few sodas allow you to just pop the top and win a soda. now they all have that web address crap. yeah i'll do that for a soda??
3. i like bicycles but get irritated when people ride them ON the street NEXT TO bike path on the sidewalk! grrrr!
4. for whatever reason, i find personalized license plates incredibly ridiculous!
5. on a similar note, there should be some kind of law against how many bumper stickers are allowed on vehicles. one or two, though kinda cheesy in my opinion, is okay i suppose. but when people have like 600 stickers all over their cars i wanna like follow them until they stop somewhere and let all the air out of their tires and put one huge sticker on the windshield that reads 'WILL YOU STOP WITH THE STICKERS ALREADY!!!' sheesh
6. ive mentioned it before, but i cant believe mall chinese food is STILL even allowed to be served. even worse i cant believe i used to eat it! im going to write president obama a letter urging congress to shut them all down effective immediately!!...now thats change i can believe in! i was in kuwait and iraq during the superbowl with troops and was amazed at all the food options they had, burger king, mcdonalds, and starbucks were all options...one of the options also included one of those mall chinese 'food' places and one day we were trying to figure out what to eat when someone mentioned this crap joint. i immediately was like, 'oh hell no! i dont eat that crap stateside so i damn sure aint touching the junk over here in the dust capital of the world!'
7. so why is the spelling bee competition aired on sports center?? wait a sec, why is it even aired?
8. probably just me (yes it is i just checked) but the word 'rectify' could be the 'dirtiest' sounding word that actually isnt. kinda like the phrase 'stimulus package'.
9. i went to a pool party in vegas and im still dumbfounded that men actually wear thongs to the beach or pool. ESPECIALLY if they are overly hairy in 'that region'. come on guys, really? i mean do you own a mirror or have friends that will be honest and tell you that spreading nausea isnt nice.
10. two girls i find pretty hot that i didnt necessarily think so when they first stepped on the scene are katy perry and clay aiken...whats that?...thats a dude?!?!.............ahem, i mean, one girl i find pretty hot..........
11. the difference between 'warn' and 'forewarn' would be what?
12. im starting to think that 2 things i really enjoy are extremely contradictory. the fact that i love to sleep yet also love to stay up beyond the midnight hours is probably responsible for this confused, erratic, and absolutely silly blog!
i havent even had the chance to gather my thoughts on the american idol finale, which sucked by the way. my final american idol dissertation will be up soon, but for the time being i figured i would just mention a few random tidbits i, for whatever reason, think about...
1. how come alex trebek and larry king look their age, but pat sajak and vanna white look like they've aged about 5 years over the past 2 decades?
2. how come very few sodas allow you to just pop the top and win a soda. now they all have that web address crap. yeah i'll do that for a soda??
3. i like bicycles but get irritated when people ride them ON the street NEXT TO bike path on the sidewalk! grrrr!
4. for whatever reason, i find personalized license plates incredibly ridiculous!
5. on a similar note, there should be some kind of law against how many bumper stickers are allowed on vehicles. one or two, though kinda cheesy in my opinion, is okay i suppose. but when people have like 600 stickers all over their cars i wanna like follow them until they stop somewhere and let all the air out of their tires and put one huge sticker on the windshield that reads 'WILL YOU STOP WITH THE STICKERS ALREADY!!!' sheesh
6. ive mentioned it before, but i cant believe mall chinese food is STILL even allowed to be served. even worse i cant believe i used to eat it! im going to write president obama a letter urging congress to shut them all down effective immediately!!...now thats change i can believe in! i was in kuwait and iraq during the superbowl with troops and was amazed at all the food options they had, burger king, mcdonalds, and starbucks were all options...one of the options also included one of those mall chinese 'food' places and one day we were trying to figure out what to eat when someone mentioned this crap joint. i immediately was like, 'oh hell no! i dont eat that crap stateside so i damn sure aint touching the junk over here in the dust capital of the world!'
7. so why is the spelling bee competition aired on sports center?? wait a sec, why is it even aired?
8. probably just me (yes it is i just checked) but the word 'rectify' could be the 'dirtiest' sounding word that actually isnt. kinda like the phrase 'stimulus package'.
9. i went to a pool party in vegas and im still dumbfounded that men actually wear thongs to the beach or pool. ESPECIALLY if they are overly hairy in 'that region'. come on guys, really? i mean do you own a mirror or have friends that will be honest and tell you that spreading nausea isnt nice.
10. two girls i find pretty hot that i didnt necessarily think so when they first stepped on the scene are katy perry and clay aiken...whats that?...thats a dude?!?!.............ahem, i mean, one girl i find pretty hot..........
11. the difference between 'warn' and 'forewarn' would be what?
12. im starting to think that 2 things i really enjoy are extremely contradictory. the fact that i love to sleep yet also love to stay up beyond the midnight hours is probably responsible for this confused, erratic, and absolutely silly blog!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
protest of american idol...of sorts that is
so i had the idea that to protest AI and the fact that allison was shown no love, i am going to subject myself to following:
no food for the next hour...actually make that 45 mins
no tv for the next hour
no internet for at least 15 mins. i know it pains me just to mention it folks
and lastly, i will comment on idol AFTER the winner is announced instead of my customary post before the elimination.i actually dont know why i think this represents a protest but it just is okay!
no food for the next hour...actually make that 45 mins
no tv for the next hour
no internet for at least 15 mins. i know it pains me just to mention it folks
and lastly, i will comment on idol AFTER the winner is announced instead of my customary post before the elimination.i actually dont know why i think this represents a protest but it just is okay!
Monday, May 18, 2009
the ghost in the staircase
i like trying different things with the camera to see what different looks i can create. the following pics are from the same...photo shoot?? yeah i actually conduct photo shoots with myself from time to time.
at any rate, this first pic is the intial pic i had in mind when i decided to be the subject of my own shoot. in a nutshell, i turned the flash off, the camera picked up on the light in the background and is able to snap the pic with the silhouette look. i also obviously put the camera in timer mode, pushed the button to take the pic, then trotted back upstairs to my 'deep thought' pose. apparently going shirtless makes one seem more 'deep'.
now the second pose was significantly later in the evening and after i had loaded them to my computer library. after reviewing the pics, i figured i would try a shot with the background off and the only lighting would be from the lighter/cigar combo. the only problem was, because i was the only person present, i couldnt exactly light the cigar AND snap the pic simultaneously. so i improvised and walked right up to the camera, lit the lighter directly in front of lens, then turned around and again trotted to my posing position. im guessing that because there were a few seconds of darkness and maybe i was moving some, the picture came out this way where im actually partially invisible! i got some what mad because i tried and tried to duplicate the pic yet came up short. i still got some pretty cool shots but nothing like the 'ghost in the staircase'.
at any rate, this first pic is the intial pic i had in mind when i decided to be the subject of my own shoot. in a nutshell, i turned the flash off, the camera picked up on the light in the background and is able to snap the pic with the silhouette look. i also obviously put the camera in timer mode, pushed the button to take the pic, then trotted back upstairs to my 'deep thought' pose. apparently going shirtless makes one seem more 'deep'.
now the second pose was significantly later in the evening and after i had loaded them to my computer library. after reviewing the pics, i figured i would try a shot with the background off and the only lighting would be from the lighter/cigar combo. the only problem was, because i was the only person present, i couldnt exactly light the cigar AND snap the pic simultaneously. so i improvised and walked right up to the camera, lit the lighter directly in front of lens, then turned around and again trotted to my posing position. im guessing that because there were a few seconds of darkness and maybe i was moving some, the picture came out this way where im actually partially invisible! i got some what mad because i tried and tried to duplicate the pic yet came up short. i still got some pretty cool shots but nothing like the 'ghost in the staircase'.
you gotta fight for the right to party
not sure how many have heard about the kid who was faced with the decision of going to his girlfriends prom, which would actually be going against his own schools beliefs on dancing, or go to the dance and face penalties from his school which include suspension. he goes to a rather strict christian private school and part of attending the school means one has to sign off on the schools beliefs, and of course, no dancing is one of the things he signed off on. long story short, he ended up going to the dance and in turn was suspended and wont be able to take his final exams NOR graduate with the rest of his class. now i gotta say, i find his schools views to be extremely strict and primitive, but i guess the adage, 'to each his own' fits here. the fact that the school is archaic in some of its precepts is irrelevant because the family knew this when they signed their kid up. the point that honestly saddens me is the fact the school can, or better yet, desire to control peoples behavior OUTSIDE of the school grounds and hours. again i know the family apparently read and signed the agreement and should catch a lot of the blame for him not graduating on time, but i just cannot get over the fact that this school, and others like it, would try and 'legislate' what they deem 'good' behavior. i think that for 'good behavior' to be true 'good behavior', it absolutely has to come from the heart not legislated. one can follow rules and precepts WITHOUT a heart change or even a desire for them. schools as these seem to be more concerned with 'aesthetics' and people portraying their version of what they think God wants everyone to adhere to, rather than allowing people to grow and mature and find out who they are as an individual. in my opinionit is better for people to find out who they are and what they believe, as opposed to, being told who they are and what to believe. obviously im not saying that all rules should be abolished but i just dont see how dancing falls into the realm of what the school should or shouldnt allow while AWAY from the school grounds.
thats just my humble opinion though
thats just my humble opinion though
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About Me
- sammy
- texas, United States
- im married to one succulent momma and we have 3 supremo kids. i like corn dogs, star wars, toothbrushes with the grip and there isnt really much more to say of interest about me. well other than the fact that i can moonwalk and count to 10 by 5's.
