bonkers

ive been meaning to join one of those things in blogdom that are something like a club. they said i was too old to be a boy scout and had too much hate and dullness for the math club. i have joined the urbanity posse, which is a photo blog that is awesome, but i also wanted to find one that didnt involve a camera. i stumbled across the glamazon mormon mom's blog somehow and long story short, i now find myself being a confessor of the glamazon crew. how could you not follow a blog called 'the glamazon mormon mom'.? amazing title.


anyway, this is my first time trying my hand at this and im positive im not doing everything right, but here goes nothing...


1. capital letters? yeah i hardly use em. who has the time to press the shift key AND a letter key? it was either use the caps lock and SCREAM AT EVERYONE WHILST TYPING, or just forget capitals all together. they're so overrated.

2. the previous sentence marks the first time ive ever used the word 'whilst'. i dont even know if i used it correctly.

3. 33 years of age is fast approaching, but i honestly feel i was born in the wrong era. i have/am what many call an 'old soul.' i'd rather listen to al green or the mama's and the papa's than beyonce or 50 cent.

4. if there's one thing i like that could be considered lame, it'd be going to antique shops. (so lame)

5. my fly has been down alot lately. no i dont mean i have a depressed pet fly or something, i mean my zipper seems to be on the lower end of the zipper tracks. its cool though because i wear lucky brand jeans alot, so i retain some of my dignity.

6. i am a night owl (as evident in my last post). its like when nighttime hits i all of a sudden get a boost of energy and want to do stuff. the other night, after the kids passed out, i fell asleep on the couch in our bedroom around 10pm. i then woke up at 2am and started doing stuff till about 4am?? is that considered a nap? i typically use a turkey baster to apply visine to get all that red out.

7. there was a time in my life when i would go to bars and clubs and order madori sours. with a straight face. and no im not gay. speaking of visine, i think thats how bartenders administer the alcohol in madori sours.

8. i havent the slightest as to when to use all the different parentheses. anyone know the difference between ( ), { }, and [ ]? i guess i could google it and find out, but then i couldnt confess i didnt know what they mean.

9. im a bad american idol fan. i havent seen anything past hollywood week. i have them recorded, but havent caught up yet. it was on the other night and i caught bits and pieces while trying to NOT catch bits and pieces. theres one thing i know, well two if you count the fact that borrowing money from a pessimist is best because they never expect it back. anyway, kara digorno, wait thats that home made pizza stuff, well whatever her last name is....what was i saying again? oh thats right, the other thing i know. i know that kara d is putting the 'irritable' in 'irritable bowel syndrome.' she is just aggravating to watch speak and it has nothing to do with her face or appearance either. she's actually quite easy on the eyes. not hot mind you, just pleasant to look at. like chelsea handler. its like when she speaks she's just opening her mouth and letting whatever spew out without thinking about it. i dont know, its just...irritable.

10. i believe it is impossible to use the word 'marvelous' in a sentence without the person you're talking to looking at you oddly like you just used the word marvelous in a sentence. 'marvelous' is actually number 3 on the top 5 list of 'the most basic word list that has little to zero relevance in everyday communication.' its like the sense of shame on the set of jersey shore. for those of you wondering, its now number 3 because the word 'bizarre' moved up a spot. typing anything from this list is one thing, but actually speaking these words? now thats just silly.

11. i love betty white. im glad she'll finally get her shot at SNL SOON. i mean, if i was stranded on some remote island, or a bar, with megan fox and betty white and was faced with the decision to procreate with one, i'd choose miss fox. you know, for the good of humanity. but i would REEEAAALLLY have to think about it. and you know i mean it because i used excessive capital letters to say 'really'. and thats not solely based on the fact that miss white more than likely cant reproduce. its because she is simply amazing and awesome.

...and lastly

12. ive seen alice in wonderland twice already and my favorite two parts about the movie are pretty obscure, but thats how i roll. furthermore, i promise my favorite two parts wont give anything away if you havent seen it, but you will appreciate if you have. {1} (did i use the right parentheses to showcase the #1?) in the movie, anne hathaway plays the 'white queen' and the best thing she did in the movie, in my ridiculous opinion of course, was convey such a believable gag. thats right, a gag. there were a few times in the movie where her role called for her to gag and i seriously could not stop laughing. i find it hilarious when people gag in real life, for whatever reason, so when she did it in such a believable manner i laughed a little too much........**tangent alert**......gag? what an ugly word. is it just me or does the word 'gagging' contain a disgusting amount of 'g's'? i mean the letter g is about 2/7th's of the word (i told you i was bad at math). what about when people say something or someone makes them want to gag? what an awful thing to say when taken literally. can you imagine what that would do to someone's psyche if they walked by someone and they started gagging?! holy hell what a downer!.....**tangent over**

the other thing i liked best about the movie was a conversation between alice and her dad. in the scene, she's trying to go back to sleep after telling her dad about the nightmare she's just had. while laying there, she asks her dad if she's crazy because of these crazy dreams. he strokes her forehead and says that she is in fact crazy. she's bonkers. he then tells her not to worry because all the best people are. i found his response so simple yet so profound and thats how i want my life to be, profoundly simple.