skee-ball

first things first, long story short, ive been away. not real sure where ive been, but suffice to say...ive been away. it feels like ages since i lasted posted. i guess it feels like that because it has been forever since i made my way to my laptop and shared the drivel that consumes my dome piece (aka brain). ive been away longer than a dyslexic turtle reading war & peace and its really frustrating. i always feel like i have crap good stuff to post, but often life gets in the way of me sitting down to formulate my excessive thoughts.

anyhoo, now that ive re-introduced myself to my blizzle (blog) and hopefully stayed in good standing with those who choose to even read what i have to say. to those who do read, i really apologize for being away. i mean i REALLY REALLY apologize. (i said it twice and put it in caps so i'd be really convincing...because i am. im more apologetic than a rabbit with ED)....what does that even mean?? enough with the whining and what not, its time to get down to business....(thats a blogging term for 'its time to start whining and write something ya bum')

being away is one thing. being away and coming back to an award is another. but being away and coming back to two awards is right up there with: skee ball, smooth snow cones, using alliteration and spandex (on a hot woman that is. because on ANYONE else its just wrong wrong wrong. the lone exception might be lance armstrong.)

this is just the position i found myself in (thats what she said) upon my arrival. the lovely linda blessed me with the sunshine award and the star gazing star child handed me the versatile blogger award. needless to say this makes me 'crunk'. i know people have differing views of these awards, and thats fine, but i love receiving them. the whole reason i started blogging was to rid my brain of all these damn cobwebs and other muck hear other peoples thoughts on my writing because i'd like to write screenplays when i grow up, and as much as i adore this lady living with me, (aka wife) her sole opinion cannot be trusted. and trust me i quite literally need the affirmation because if i wrote everything that stumbled through my brain, i'd have about 10 followers and 8 of those would be blogs i would have created just so i could follow myself.

as with all awards, they come with rules. generally speaking i follow rules and by 'generally' i mean 'when i feel like it.' i think im supposed to share the wealth with 12 others for the sunshine award and 15 for the versatile award. i think that is waaaay too many so i'll pick choose as i see fit. dont judge me. the versatile award thing also states that i must state 7 stateworthy things about myself. of course i must link back to them and the only thing you have to do is go and check them out. trust me you wont be sorry.


The Sunshine Award is awarded to bloggers whose positivity and creativity inspire others in the blogging world. these are the chosen ones:

amy- i know amy beyond this keyboard and screen. we went to school together and she is one of the few who would still follow my page if i were to write all that crossed my mind...maybe

star child- a great sense of humor, funny ass stories, and a variety of topics are found on star childs page.

the glamorous life of hausfrau- a relatively new find for me, but when i clicked on her page, i was hooked. and fyi, PLEASE PLEASE stop by her page tomorrow!! you will not be disappointed and thats all im saying. hehe

the catons- fittingly, sunshine is what i think of when i stop in for a visit.

texas britches- she's from texas....not that i should have to say anything else other than that, but she is hilarious and a great sense of humor...plus she has mr t on her page and she's from texas.

mommywood- miss brittney holds the distinction of teaching me the strike thing and i couldnt me more happy that she did. i was driving myself crazy trying to figure that damn thing out. you have got to stop by her page simply because she's hilarious and sunshiny

lizzi- a great photographer and writer. i love reading her random thoughts because they make mine less lonely.

kat- nobody uses the f-bomb better!! she's like the samuel jackson of blogdom and thats all im saying!!!


and most importantly, thank you linda for sharing the wealth. you have really got to stop by. it does not matter the topic she chooses to write on, you will love it and keep coming back for more. (that. is. what. she. said.)



the recipients for the versatile baller award are:

alix- no doubt you will enjoy your stay at alix's page. what a crazy, wild, and hilarious woman. it is impossible to stop by and not enjoy your stay.

lora- if versatility were humps, she'd be a camel pregnant with quadruplets. not quite sure that makes sense, but trust me, you will get feverish with delight by reading her words.

terry- oh terry, terry, terry. what a clown! that is a good thing mind you and let me tell you, stopping by is definitely good for the soul, because you will laugh your ass off. she is also the first to break my blogging award cherry and i will forever be indebted.

glamazon- as if her title wasnt enough clue of her awesomeness, her page is twice as better than her name. she is also host to the only meme i can 'handle'. the friday confessional has been the honey to my tea for some time now.

linda- this is the same miss linda that gave me the sunshine award. you never know what you are going to read on her page. she has a wise ass husband that she says im similar to and that makes her a-okay in my book. never a dull moment and a great read.

salt says- a relatively new find for me, but it didnt take long to find out she is one hilarious lady!...oh and she gets extra points for her tattoo obsession as well

bananas- simply stated, she is bananas and out of her mind...in a good way of course. she also gets the extra points for the tat obsession thing...oh and the drinking thing

OTV- warning: do not go to her page if you have bad grammar....well you can and should still stop by because your laughter will make you forget the berating you will receive. seriously, she is hilarious and actually reminds me of chelsea handler...except she's not blonde...or white...nor is she a drinker.....BUT she is hilarious.

mrs. d aka the uber-milf- calling yourself the uber milf, is more than enough reason to check her out. she is absolutely funny funny funny and she accomplishes this with stories that happened in real life or things in her head and all is laced with just the right amount of swearing.



small town girl- lastly, another texas gal that is simply 'my homie'. i wont get into the whole sleepwalking bit, like i did the last time i gave her an award, but i cannot get enough of her page. i mean really, she swears, she drinks, and she's from texas. the trifecta.

the rules for this award also states that i must share 7 things about myself:

1. im obsessed with all things mundane. most times i have 7000 things swimming through my head that really have no relevance until i blog about it or somehow sprinkle it into everyday conversation. (which usually gets the weirdest looks)

2. i re-read my own blog on occasion. arrogant i know but i honestly surprise myself at times when i read things ive put down.

3. im about 90% sure that sarah silverman has taken the lead for 2nd place in my female comedian jocking. if so, she will have surpassed chelsea handler but not betty white. its actually impossible to pass betty white.

4. randomness is my friend. she calls me on the phone and we have lunch dates often.

5. i actually found this out the other morning: i apparently would chance pissing the bed because i didnt feel like getting up at the time, but when i realized the sooner i got up the sooner i could eat frosted flakes, i was already down the stairs.

6. i get annoyed easily. the other day someone left me a voicemail and left their number faster than indian food leaving the body and i got so annoyed that i couldnt get the number that i refused to even call back.

7. lastly, this should be my new profile: im married to one succulent momma and we have 3 supremo kids. i like corn dogs, star wars, toothbrushes with the grip and there isnt really much more to say of interest about me. well other than the fact that i can moonwalk and count to 10 by 5's.


thank you linda and star child. i can now get back to my regular irregularities...