the other day i was talking to someone about texas and wishing i was there at the moment and blah blah blah. i grew up in san antonio and there is apparently good, if not great, hunting in those parts. im not a hunter, in case you're wondering why i said 'apparently'. ive actually only shot a gun twice in my life. he was all sorts of surprised at my admission because he assumed all texans: hunted, chewed dip, drove over-sized trucks, wore shit kicking boots and cow tipped. he was like, 'man i NEVER thought i'd hear of a texan not shooting up some shit.'
take it easy big fella. not all texans shoot up shit. anyway, i dusted off my 10 gallon hat and went about my way. i found it crazy that what he perceived of ALL texans couldnt be further from the truth. in my life anyway. i then thought about other areas where i might be surprised at what i heard. and from there...well this list was birthed.
its basically a list of 10 things you will NEVER hear. some are from people, some are even from inanimate objects. either way, im 99% sure you will never ever ever ever hear!
1) 'damn. im eating ramen noodles, could you pass the salt?'
2) 'boy, mikeys mom sure does make a mean rootabaga soup'
3) 'we are not diabetes in a straw' -- pixy sticks
4) '911? hey just wanted to say you guys are doing an awesome job' -- rodney king
5) 'sir where do you keep the rootabaga's?'
6) 'hey lets visit nebraska!'
7) 'man, my cat is soooo active!'
8) 'damn my feet smell awesome!' --any fly
9) boy, fran drescher's voice is pleasant isnt it?
10) 'oh. so this is what the stairway to heaven looks like.' --hitler
posters note: not quite sure why im picking on rootabaga's. actually, not quite sure why im even thinkng about them, but hell, could you pick one out of a vegetable police line up?
- ▼ May (7)
- ► 2009 (45)