i hope everyone is familiar with the chuck norris facts book and how effin hilarious they are! i got a new book the other day from urban outfitters that includes mr. t jokes as well. twice the awesomeness in one stop. kinda like doublemint gum or a bra.
anyway, im posting a few good ones i found in the book mixed in with some of my own. can you tell which is which??
first off my wife found a picture of chuck norris' toilet paper. imagine a 20 wiper with this!! ouch...well unless your chuck norris
1. when life handed chuck norris lemons he made chocolate pudding.
2. chuck norris can play the violin with a piano.
3. jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land.
4. the only fight chuck norris lost was his fight to keep from kicking your ass.
5. an average adults intestine produce about half a liter of flatulent gas per day. chuck norris' intestines produce 4 feature length films every year, all written and directed by his spleen.
6. the real reason pluto is no longer a planet is because chuck norris thought it sounded too similar to chuck norris.
7. there are no buttons on chuck norris' washer. he just puts his clothes in and they just know what to do.
8. chuck norris can build a snowman out of rain.
9. chuck norris and mr t were going through airport security. mr t's chains were going thru the x-ray machine the exact time chuck norris' beard was going through the metal detector. at that exact moment 'the force' and superman were created.
10. mr t is no longer a noun; its a verb.
- ▼ February (6)
- ► 2009 (45)