its often stated that in this life we will always have to deal with adversity. we seem to move from one bombshell to the next no matter how many books we read or prayers we offer. alas, adversity is indeed inevitable. so no surprise to me, or others as well i suppose, that when i survey my life, that 'glow' ensues when things are going even moderately well. you know when relationships are budding, the kids are growing into pleasant human beings (well except for the boy...kidding) career is progressing well, the dog made his business outside, you either had a good hair day or you lost less than the previous weeks, you returned your movie rental having actually watched the movie and it was on time, or whatever causes that 'glow' from you. but then like steam from a hot shower, fear consumes the arena. the glow quickly fades and instead of savoring the moment, the onset of pessimism causes me to simply sit and embrace for the next blast. the more i think about it, the shrapnel from the last attack still lingers and aches my body. i often find myself just waiting for the next one. expecting them. again this is no fault on me really. as i stated, tragedy can strike at any moment. despair preys on peace and anguish lies in wait of joy. while i lay on my hammock, i get a picture of this and why i should hold the pessimism at bay. as i recline and the warm sunlight lazily rests on my cheek, the breeze gently sways my hammock i must know that at some point the sun will be overpowered by storm clouds soaking everything under heaven forcing me to comply and head indoors. BUT, for the time being, it is foolish of me to not enjoy the present. i suffer a great loss to not take pleasure in watching the wind chase and tickle the grass, all the peaceful sounds emanating from outdoors, or seeing the birds that neither sow nor reap yet are fed by my yard. how can i not enjoy now because of what may happen down the road? again, its a safe estimation to say that something contrary to what we desire will happen, but we dont know the when. in my example, it would seem all the more beneficial to cling to and relish the climate as i now experience it, because im certain the downpour looms. what 'downpour' do you fear?
- ► 2009 (45)