Saturday, March 8, 2008

further and further

i recently had a conversation w/ a friend i hadnt talked to in some time. when i say 'talked to' i should probably preface that by saying we differ on many levels concerning spirituality or religion. so when i say we hadnt talked in a while, its more on this subject, because we had spoken before but not on this level. as you probably already correctly assume, this conversation followed suit of our previous disagreements. although i must say that this convo had a different feel to it. ive had many similar talks before with others and disagreements have obviously come up, but this one left me feeling upset, which was new, and to be quite frank, it helped continue my path to leaving christianity by the wayside. i should also say here that i dont mean leaving God, just christendom. i do see them as separate entities at times and i guess is why i feel like tossing it in the rubbish bin. or maybe the recycle container would be more appropriate and something better would surface. ive only spoke to a few people about the matter and the issue thus far has been solely doctrinal. meaning i disagree with certain aspects one seemingly has to fall in line with to be included in christendom. these issues range from the literalism of the creation story or job,  to name two, to whether people are actually born gay, all the way to if christians are the only ones granted entrance to heaven. also, i should say that complete and utter disagreement hasnt arrived, but it is visible and seems to be quickly approaching. 

anyway, i received an awkward message from him that he heard from 'someone' that leslie and i were into some 'sensual practices'?? whatever the hell that means. so after i racked my brain for the rest of the day trying to figure out just what the hell this unsettling message was about, i finally spoke to him the following day. he then proceeded to tell me that he 'got the story wrong'. how thats possible is beyond me. if someone were to tell me some so called 'disturbing news', as he put it, about a friend,  i assure you i would get the whole story before i went to him/her. at any rate, he told me that it wasnt necessarily about me, but that my wife had some 'soft core pornography' pics on the internet. okay so my wife does model and i guess he disagrees with christians modeling in a sexy manner, but soft core porn?? a bit extreme in my mind, but in his mind, christians should not pose in victoria's secret ads or the lingerie section of jc penny i suppose. his reasoning went something like this, because i wouldnt want leslie walking around the house in lingerie if we had company over, the same goes with posing in a pic. if its wrong in one context, its wrong in all contexts. i cannot even begin to say how limited a view of the world this is. my response was that i also wouldnt answer the door or walk around in swimming trunks with no shirt at my house either but thats because im not at cabo or south beach...im at my house. so as the context changes, so does my attire. its not because its wrong or sinful to wear a two-piece (gasp! a two-piece?? another issue all together i guess), but from what i can tell, the context plays a major factor in whats deemed appropriate. 

well we went back and forth in our 'discussion'. i quoted discussion because situations as these arent true dyads. typically one person isnt really looking to change their views or even gather info on the other viewpoint. being or remaining right in their mind is the true focus. allegiance to the search for truth is an afterthought because they already possess the all encompassing truth. [notice i didnt say who the person is ; )]before we even spoke, there were a million things i thought of. not that i even found the accusation remotely feasible or possible, but that this fellow is ultra conservative. he's a good guy but just maintains a traditional right wing view of things. i mean when someone tells me that spongebob is gay, there's no telling the angles he could approach me with. so as it stands, it was his foundation that had me backtracking to see where i could have went wrong in his sight and the possibilities seemed endless. conservatism in itself is fine i suppose. but as with anything, when one's viewpoint is seen as the 'right' or only one for that matter, and is spoken of so matter of factly, people tend to withdraw from the arrogance. earlier i said when i have discussions about my somewhat retraction from christianism they are soley based on doctrinal differences. another aid in this withdrawal that appears to be emerging is sort of surprising to me. there are numerous things about the church/christians i find awfully disheartening. i would have to say that its not necessarily the people themselves, but the arrogant attitude thats either on display or needs to be unearthed. when opposing views clash in a peppering of questions, and someone says 'they'll pray you', its usually done in a condescending or patronizing manner. what they really mean is that they hope you come around to their point of view, the right one. i am simply a voracious questioner and apparently questioning or doubting is not allowed, among other things, in the faith. although many would and do say questioning is infact permitted. but it seems what your questioning determines whether your inquiries are valid.

i do apologize in advance for the rushed and clumsy presentation in this blog and im sure there several things wrong with my sentence structure. i didnt really have the time to go back through it and correct a million things, plus i wasnt expecting this to be 100 pages long! anyhow, hopefully this makes some sense. to sum the previous 99 pages, i basically feel that christianity, at times, obstructs God more than it points to Him.

1 comment:

Amy Metz Walker said...

First of all, I bet I know who this was. Second, two of your statements, more than any other, stood out to me:

1. "when opposing views clash in a peppering of questions, and someone says 'they'll pray you', its usually done in a condescending or patronizing manner"

*my response*: I would have to say that when a person feels strongly enough about something to address it, let's hope that they do have the whole story, first and foremost. And while I think it takes a certain amount of strength to address someone to their face (rather than talk about them behind their back), I think its VERY important for them to come to the table with not only their points, but an open mind as well.

If they're in the argument to "win it", it's dangerous...because in doing so they can isolate the other party more than help - which was the intention, right?

I do think that we have to consider all angles as Believers and be aware about how our choices in life may positively (or negatively) affect those around us. However, I think that each person's "boundaries" may be a little different...partly because of the way they were raised and partly because of life experiences.

The one thing that should be the same with ALL Believers is that they should consider the HUGE responsibility they have as a Christian to be a representative of God. All actions, words, and even thoughts should be measured against how it affects our representation of Him.

All that now brings me to the next thing you said:

2. "I feel that Christianity sometimes obstructs God more than points to him..."

*my response* I agree with you. I think that's a on-going problem since biblical times. Just think of the pharisees, for instance. They were all about "looking right" and "being seen" but the HEART wasn't right and we all know that is what the Lord is looking at. So really they were performing for man. We can all attempt to perform when someone's watching...and I'm sure we all know people like that.

I think that you have to measure a person's authenticity...how have you seen what they say play out in their live? Do they love those who are unlovable? Do they serve those with less? Or do they just stand on a street corner where they can be seen and say all the right things?

I think you just have to weigh out how much do you value this person's words and input into your life...are they someone that you believe has your (and God's) best interest in mind? Are they someone that pours into your life on a daily (or frequent) basis or do they just come around when they have something to correct you on?
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On another note: be encouraged. I truly believe that your faith has merit both as a God-follower AND as a Christian. Your choice to be a follower of Jesus Christ can't be thrown off track by people who inevitably screw up along their journey as Christians. Proclaiming to be a Believer doesn't automatically rescue people from their nature tendencies to screw up. EX: If your sin nature is to be a liar, you might find that it happens less as you grow in your faith, but it doesn't mean it won't happen again. Same with being judgmental or arrogant or promiscuous...our flesh is going to surface at times.

But let's hope we're just as quick to say "I messed up, I was wrong" as we were to fall back into old patterns!

Love ya'll...let's talk!

About Me

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texas, United States
im married to one succulent momma and we have 3 supremo kids. i like corn dogs, star wars, toothbrushes with the grip and there isnt really much more to say of interest about me. well other than the fact that i can moonwalk and count to 10 by 5's.

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