Friday, July 2, 2010

unibrows are the new unicorns

can you smell it?

if you inhale long enough, you'll soon find this post to smell like coconuts and exotic-ness. my wife and i are currently vacationing in the turks and caicos to celebrate our 12 year anniversary. our anniversary is actually in august, but august gets extremely busy for me so we decided to take our trip now rather than not take one at all.

can you smell it?

this is easily the most relaxing and quiet place ive seen or heard of. i'll post a few of the pics i snapped when i get back stateside, but trust when i say, s-e-r-e-n-i-t-y was at a premium. im not even one for the ocean by any means, but i still had a great time.

the locals were really laid back and friendly. while taking the 30 minute drive into town one day, our driver served as a tour guide of sorts and was telling us a bunch of little known facts about the island. he surprised us when he mentioned that soccer wasnt as popular as we thought it would be. he showed us where the hottest spots were during spring break and new years and how the beaches will be flooded with people.

'flooded' is like the exact opposite of what my wife and i experienced at our area. as i said, we are located about 30 minutes from 'civilization' and quiet reigns supreme......well until the european soccer fans show up....

while my wife and i were absolutely chill-axin by the infinity pool sipping pina colada's, out come the slimy speedos and offensive body hair, talking and laughing like we're...well, like we're 30 minutes from here. it wasnt necessarily all that loud, but based on the scene, they were sticking out like a peg leg pirate in a bmx competition.

they're laugh basically echoed off the ocean it was so loud and the 3 other couples there also noticed. the other couples were also american, so i assume they didnt care much for the soccer match either. definitely couldnt say that about the 6 cheering and jeering europeans we saw galavanting around poolside.

as they continued to delve into obnoxious level laughter, i causally turn to my wife and say, 'oh shit. thats an effing unibrow!' you would have thought i had seen a unicorn the way i stared and stared. i did use my cloak and dagger like glasses to hide my amazement, but i couldnt help but get a second and third look. when you think about it, unibrows arent all that common, so when you do see one, you're instantly like 'oh shit. thats an effing unibrow!'. this was a good one too. it was so bushy that edward scissorhands needed to be called in for a trim. it was also exactly straight and parallel to his eyes. i mean this thing was straighter than a cobra on viagra.

the loud cheering only lasted a short time. we ended up chatting with them and finding out they were from italy. i of course kept my glasses on the entire time and tried like hell to not stare at the one guy's 'middle brow'. we all were starving from the extensive swimming we had just done. thankfully we only had a short wait while the buffet was setup.

when my wife and i sat down, we could hear our soccer friends in the other part of the restaurant, roaring with laughter again. i cracked up yet again, because my wife sarcastically said to me, 'i wonder if your 'unicorn' is having a good time.'


Evil Twin's Wife said...

Some people need to learn the art of *waxing* certain body hairs!

Glamazon said...

Wow-a unibrow in the wild-now that is rare! And on a tropical island. Congrats on your anniversary, sounds like you are having the time of your life. :)

Mr. Stupid said...

Unibrow? Now that is rare. Looks like you guys are having a good time. Have fun!

middle child said...

Happy Anniversary! My 1st. husband is/was Sicilian. Our grand daughter, Meadow had such a brow and I "tricked" her into letting the hairstylist wax it off. I felt TERRIBLE! I never lie and boy did I that time. Took her awhile to forgive me but now she tweezes it herself.

Alix said...

Cobra on Viagra?

Peg leg pirate in a BMX competition?

This stuff is what keeps me coming back for more. You are seriously hysterical. So.... did any of the Italian Signorinas have mustaches? I mean, it just goes to follow... right?

PS: I adore your wife. Unicorns. Ha!

Linda Medrano said...

Frieda was gorgeous with her unibrow! And I love unicorns! And Italians! They are so lively! But alas, I am not a soccer fan and find loudness irritating to my delicate sensibilities. Still, Happy Anniversary Darling Sammy to you and your gorgeous wife! (Where are the kids? Did you stash them?)

Lora said...

Happy Dozen!!

Your trip sounds so much better than the one we took a couple weeks ago for our anniversary. We went to New Jersey. Sad trombone. But, it was fun and we took the boy so it all worked out.

Enjoy your time together and here's to another few dozen years together!

Mr Monkey said...

happy 12 years
Mr Monkey

Cheeseboy said...

Ha ha! This made me laugh extra hard: "hey were sticking out like a peg leg pirate in a bmx competition" Superb imagery.

Sounds like a wonderful place. I wish I was rich enough to go there. alas, I teach school.

Hey, I haven't been round in a while. I apologize. I'll make more of an effort.

bananas. said...

um fool you better share pictures so i can be officially more jealous than i already am.

did you say infinity pool?

Lizzi said...

Turks and Caicos...nice! Unibrows and speedos....not nice at all.

Happy Anniversary a bit early!

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im married to one succulent momma and we have 3 supremo kids. i like corn dogs, star wars, toothbrushes with the grip and there isnt really much more to say of interest about me. well other than the fact that i can moonwalk and count to 10 by 5's.

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