unibrows are the new unicorns

can you smell it?

if you inhale long enough, you'll soon find this post to smell like coconuts and exotic-ness. my wife and i are currently vacationing in the turks and caicos to celebrate our 12 year anniversary. our anniversary is actually in august, but august gets extremely busy for me so we decided to take our trip now rather than not take one at all.

can you smell it?


this is easily the most relaxing and quiet place ive seen or heard of. i'll post a few of the pics i snapped when i get back stateside, but trust when i say, s-e-r-e-n-i-t-y was at a premium. im not even one for the ocean by any means, but i still had a great time.


the locals were really laid back and friendly. while taking the 30 minute drive into town one day, our driver served as a tour guide of sorts and was telling us a bunch of little known facts about the island. he surprised us when he mentioned that soccer wasnt as popular as we thought it would be. he showed us where the hottest spots were during spring break and new years and how the beaches will be flooded with people.

'flooded' is like the exact opposite of what my wife and i experienced at our area. as i said, we are located about 30 minutes from 'civilization' and quiet reigns supreme......well until the european soccer fans show up....

while my wife and i were absolutely chill-axin by the infinity pool sipping pina colada's, out come the slimy speedos and offensive body hair, talking and laughing like we're...well, like we're 30 minutes from here. it wasnt necessarily all that loud, but based on the scene, they were sticking out like a peg leg pirate in a bmx competition.

they're laugh basically echoed off the ocean it was so loud and the 3 other couples there also noticed. the other couples were also american, so i assume they didnt care much for the soccer match either. definitely couldnt say that about the 6 cheering and jeering europeans we saw galavanting around poolside.

as they continued to delve into obnoxious level laughter, i causally turn to my wife and say, 'oh shit. thats an effing unibrow!' you would have thought i had seen a unicorn the way i stared and stared. i did use my cloak and dagger like glasses to hide my amazement, but i couldnt help but get a second and third look. when you think about it, unibrows arent all that common, so when you do see one, you're instantly like 'oh shit. thats an effing unibrow!'. this was a good one too. it was so bushy that edward scissorhands needed to be called in for a trim. it was also exactly straight and parallel to his eyes. i mean this thing was straighter than a cobra on viagra.

the loud cheering only lasted a short time. we ended up chatting with them and finding out they were from italy. i of course kept my glasses on the entire time and tried like hell to not stare at the one guy's 'middle brow'. we all were starving from the extensive swimming we had just done. thankfully we only had a short wait while the buffet was setup.

when my wife and i sat down, we could hear our soccer friends in the other part of the restaurant, roaring with laughter again. i cracked up yet again, because my wife sarcastically said to me, 'i wonder if your 'unicorn' is having a good time.'