kung fu-y

i feel like ive been missing my 'medicine' by not confessing as i have in the past. i feel like things are 'not right' when i dont get my weekly confessional in. well all thats about to change because im about to spew. as an added bonus, i will reveal where i lied or told the truth regarding my post a few days ago. anyway, without further ado, my confessions according to me hosted by the oh so pretty glamazon. please stop by her page and join the confessional posse. this one is a little late but like i said, i need my meds like an anteater needs 6 bounty rolls when he gets a bloody nose. anyway, here goes something...


1.) i could eat biscuits for breakfast, lunch, and dinner



2.) i like sweater vests. (believe it or not that is NOT the confession part) i like them over something like a button down or polo or even a white tshirt depending on the sweater. (cue the confessional music) i DO NOT, however, trust men who wear sweater vests with no shirt underneath....dont ask. just trust me on this one.



3.) i used to eat chinese food from those mall chinese food places like 'the panda bear'. im just saying, those places just seem so overwhelmingly disgusting to me now. i think they use real panda in their lo-mein. seriously they put the "e" in "e-coli" and the "shit" in "shiitake"....


3.5) this one is #3.5 because i confess that i wanted to go on about how 'shiitake' kinda looks like the words 'shit' and 'take' were scrunched together and how that it fits perfect in the given context.




4.) i confess that i had this text convo with my brother the other night. for the record, he's pretty damn random himself and SHOULD be blogging as well and our text convo's are epic...

my brother- hey do you think gwen stefani is pretty?

me- yeah she's okay

my brother- yeah me too. what the hell is a holla back girl anyway?...

me- i dont know but its bananas...B-A-N-A-N-A-S




5.) i confess that i like poetry. well some of it anyway. i mean would have pursued it more in high school if i wasnt so low self esteem-y and thought everyone one would make fun of me because they said i liked fagg-y things. haikus were my favorite. they're short. they're witty. they're intense. all this plus the name sounds so kung fu-y.



6.) the other morning i said to my wife, 'uhhh, why is there glitter in my shoes?'...pretty sure that if you've also said this before, you either have kids with school projects or an 'alternate lifestyle'.



7.) i used to work at sea world of texas in san antonio. the job was pretty cool i suppose, but it did have its annoying bits too. what with all the rules about not jumping in with the dolphins stuff?? i mean whats that all about? but easily most annoying was when the people i worked with would come to their job ON THEIR DAY OFF! these same people would be bitching about work and the restaurant when they were there, but as soon as they had a day off, they would come to the park and annoy the people working. i still see it today though. people come in and think its the coolest thing when in actuality...its not. at all. and its annoying. its more annoying than mr and mrs pac-man on speed.


8.) im pretty sure ive worn the pair of jeans i wore today for too many consecutive days. i dont know what the 'shelf life' is for jeans, but im pretty sure i passed it recently. i mean if they were an apple or milk they'd be all lumpy and mushy.


9.) i read magazines starting from the back


10.) i hate people reading what i write BEFORE im done. seriously my wife and i split up for 6 weeks because she once glanced over my shoulder while i was typing.


11.) i google things. my most recent trip to googledom was this: 10 fun things to do in wyoming. i wasnt impressed and im almost positive i wont be going. this is what came back:

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7. not get eaten by the children of the corn
8. visit the cardboard box plant
9. skipping downtown
10. meet the inventor of the word boring




wow now that was some soul bearing/clearing stuff, but now its time for the not so big reveal. in the post, i listed 7 things and you were supposed to figure out if i listed 6 truths and a lie ~or~ 6 lies and one truth. well most of you did guess that i listed 6 truths and lie, but only one person got the lie right. ironically it was the glamazon who guessed right. this is what i listed:

1. i would sell my liver to be a jedi knight for a year.
2. i have a faint scar on my lower back that i received while showing off for my son and his friends in a bounce house.
3. in the 8th grade, i was in a gang for 2 weeks.
4. i have a tad bit of social anxiety.
5. if betty white was 60 years younger or i was 100 years older, we would be dating.
6. im terrible at math.
7. i once won a dancing contest


1. hell yeah i would!
2. actually true and it hurt like hell too.
3. nope never in a gang although my friends and i did come close. too tough for our own good i guess
4. actually true, but i manage okay most of the time
5. also true. somehow??
6. see #5
7. yeah buddy! im a beast! i did a salsa/hip hop thing. still trying to get my man card back too ; )


so the lie was being in a gang but like i said, my friends and i almost entered one for some apparent reason and im guessing the reason was because i was either: trying to offset the fact that i liked poetry or that i was looking for an outlet for my kung-fu