Monday, June 7, 2010

100 years

whew. has it been a week already? that is entirely too long to deprive you guys of me and i know you've been waiting in anticipation of my next post. right? well maybe not, but i know of at least two people that still think im okay. in fact, they think im so okay that they awarded me with awards. now i know some dont dig the awards, which is cool, but i do. especially when cool bloggers are the bestow-ers. i was given the plastic joy award by the glamma glamma glamazon mormon mom and the creative writer award by the small town girl with big time coolness

i first found the glamazon via the friday confessional she hosts every friday. its been therapeutic. its been awesome. its even been a marriage enhancer. my wife no longer has to hear as much of the nonsense i have floating around my skull. now, she can just read it if she chooses, things are kosher, and i have the glamazon to thank. when you visit her page, tell her i sent you and you will instantly receive a prize...

the details of this award are quite......ahem......different. you are supposed to name 5 celebrities you would like to make 'whoopy' with and then pass the award on to 5 others. when i first read the details of the award i was like wait, make whoopy with?? what year is this and i thought her title said 'mormon' in it? 'cool'. but then my dissenting side surfaced. now overall, im a pretty good guy. i mean just ask me or anyone else i direct you to ask. well im not like buddhist boy scout nice, but generally speaking, im a stand up guy. i mean if whitney houston and i were to have married back in the day, her career wouldnt have derailed so terribly and we'd still be singing her praises instead of remembering that she actually said 'crack is whack' in public. anyway, like i was saying, my dissenter side surfaced and i decided to go against the grain and choose a different list of 5 celebrities. i my wife made me and is literally looking over my shoulder as i type this while making mean faces decided to list 5 celebrities that an awful lot of people find attractive, but i happen to disagree. to each his own right...

1. penelope cruz

2. sarah jessica parker

3. megan fox

4. kirsten dunst

5. nicole kidman

6. cameron diaz

am i crazy? hehe its all good if you think so. you say 'tomato', i say 'tomato'.......well i guess that saying doest exactly translate as well when written but you know what i mean.

also, you'll notice there are six women listed but the rules of the award say 5. thats because #3 is a TOTAL lie because i think megan fox is very attractive, plus my wife went to the bathroom. she's an average actress, but definitely hot. i think thats a good start to the rules of the next award....

the creative writing award states that i must list 6 truths and/or lies and one truth or lie about myself and you are supposed to figure out which im listing. its like a communal award. the small town girl and i have never met, but ive already stated that we will meet at some unspecified time in the future to share a drink or twenty two. she is a texan and a sleepwalker. both of which i find to be awesome characteristics. ive felt that way about texans since, well, forever, but as for the sleepwalkers, ive only recently discovered this likability factor. i have her to thank for that, as well as, the laughs i experience every time i visit her page. i wonder if she will be able to figure out what im listing here because i bombed when it came to picking hers. lets see what you guys come up with. i find it fairly easy because, well, because im writing this, but also because im doing mine pretty silly like. so which is it? what did i list, 6 truths and a lie or 6 lies and a truth?

1. i would sell my liver to be a jedi knight for a year.
2. i have a faint scar on my lower back that i received while showing off for my son and his friends in a bounce house.
3. in the 8th grade, i was in a gang for 2 weeks.
4. i have a tad bit of social anxiety.
5. if betty white was 60 years younger or i was 100 years older, we would be dating.
6. im terrible at math.
7. i once won a dancing contest

haha like i said, i find this extremely easy to decipher, but i want to know what you think? would i really sell my liver? should i have listed betty white in the original rules of the plastic joy award? the suspense is just too intense.

thank you glamazon and small town girl, you gals are great and i appreciate you thinking of me for the awards. i mean its not everyday one gets to post plastic porn on their page or have the opportunity to deceive without consequence.


Mr. Stupid said...

Firstly, congrats on your awards. Everyone wants to be a Jedi Knight right? Right...?
Anyway, I guess they are Six Truths and a lie. Is the seventh one is a lie?

Anonymous said...

i think it's 6 truths and a lie. because i know you so well and everything. :)

congrats on the awards!

Goldstein Family said...

I am pretty sure it's six truths and a lie and my guess for the lie is number 7. I'd like to think I know you well but if I totally bombed on this, don't tell me. Fun post!

Salt said...

I think you listed 6 truths because #1 is definitely true. Although I can't imagine you would be having much luck as a Jedi with no liver.

Megan Fox looks like she might be sticky if you touched her, but yeah she's pretty hot nonetheless.

Now what kind of dancing won you this contest?

Evil Twin's Wife said...

6 truths and a lie?

Allyson & Jere said...

Dude, I was begining to wonder what the heck happened to you.
Congrats on your awards. I pretty much totally agree on all your celebs that are sort of NOT hot, but people try to force us to think they are.

And, i think your lie is about being bad at math. Sorry, forgot what number that was.

Glad you wrote. Keep it up.

K. Rock said...

I don't know any guys that find any of those women attractive. My husband and I refer to Penelope Cruz as Squidward becasue they bear an uncanny resemblance.

And imma go with 6 truths and a lie with the lie being the social anxiety part.

Linda Medrano said...

Congratulation on the awards, Sammy! You deserve them and more! I think it's 6 truths and a lie. I think you are too cool to enter a dance contest.

And Megan is very pretty but has bad skin. And she's supposed to be a pretty dumb girl, but we aren't talking about talking to her are we? LOL!

Steve said...

6 truths and a lie. I think the number 4 is the lie. With the stuff that rolls around in your head, I can't imagine you having social anxiety at all.

Thanks for the laughs as usual.

Alix said...

YOU? Social anxiety?

Since when?

And you might be a tad misguided about Cameron... but Larry would agree with you about Penelope and I'm with you on Nicole. WTF happened to her? It's like her forehead grew three stories or something, and enough with the "blonde" hair already. Go back to dark auburn and cut your bangs and maybe we'll forget how hideous you and your botoxed Stepford Wife expressions are. {Wow, that was even mean by my standards... love ya Nic.}

And finally... what's up with Barbie being on top? Is it a purely feminist thing or just standard male fantasy business. Ever see the Movie Fargo? Know the scene where Steve Buscemi and the other dude are in the hotel room doing it with those two odd looking girls. Remember? Well, THEY were on top too. FANTASY KILL. Hehehehe.

Love ya Sammy.

Glamazon said...

Six truths and a lie...I think that #3 is a lie.

Kirsten Dunst? Really? I mean, really? Come on, how could you handle those teeth?

Penelope Cruise is gorgeous, Megan Fox is a given, and SJP? Pleasantly surprising.

Thanks for playing!

Small Town Girl said...

I don't know how I missed this post until today, but....I'm guessing 6 truths and a lie...there's no way YOU have social anxiety...even a little bit!

Anonymous said...

6 truths and 1 lie.

lin said...


About Me

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texas, United States
im married to one succulent momma and we have 3 supremo kids. i like corn dogs, star wars, toothbrushes with the grip and there isnt really much more to say of interest about me. well other than the fact that i can moonwalk and count to 10 by 5's.

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