its monday somewhere...wait what??

2 posts ago i posted something about ramen noodles and a few other bits of nonsense that actually cross my mind.

upon posting, i realized at least 2 things: 1, i gotta stop drinking and posting simultaneously. 2, i should make a list of 10 things we SHOULD HAVE never heard, but apparently we unfortunately did!...yeah thats it!...

damn libations ; )

anyway, without further ado, the official list of 10 things we SHOULD HAVE never heard, but unfortunately did...(well someone did and the rest of us were forced to experience the torture)

1) 'reality shows are awesome, lets create another!!!'

2) 'okay Wendy's, meet bacon...bacon, meet Wendy's'

3) 'hey guys, there's this new texting language thats not annoying at all! check it out!...hey u goin 2 da show 2day or 2mrw? lemme kno sum time l8ter 2day. K !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4) 'great! really good work guys. the first minivan is now complete'

5) 'damn bro, you are wearing those skinny jeans!!'

6) 'nonsense mr trump, your hair looks amazing!'

7) 'uhh, i disagree. i dont think ANOTHER vampire show is excessive'

8) 'okay singing career, meet heidi montag...singing career heidi'

9) 'why is there a bag of jiffy pop floating through the sky??'

and last but not least

10) 'ive got an idea, just take a lot off the front and do not touch the back.' --the wearer of the first mullet

a trip to the bookstore

if you've noticed the sporadic nature of this here blog, you'll also understand that its hard for me to find time to read books. well basically alot of things i like to do. ie, take photographs, watch the office, bathe, parent, etc. but when i do get the chance, i usually over indulge. in this case, i went there for one book but left with 4 and a half...i'll explain the half shortly.

i really do like the bookstore. not sure if it just makes me feel smart and somewhat 'uppity' or what the reason is, but i do enjoy spending time hanging out. for this trip, my wife had my daughters and they were doing whatever it is girls do when the boys are away, so my son and i ventured out in the rain that dumped on the new england area a few nights back. now my son is the epitome of what one should think of when the term 'little hellian' is used! love him to death but my son is a trip...especially in public! so we're walking around the store looking at all the new titles. as im looking around feeling educated, i had made my way from the carpeting to the tiling and when i did, my quasi wet shoes made an awkward sound that sounded relatively harmless...unless you're a six year old hellian. my lil sammy says 'aww dad did you fart?!'. he thankfully didnt scream it, but he did say it loud enough for a lady to turn around and look at me like, well, like i farted in public. i dont even know what i said. infact, i never know what to say and things like this unfortunately happen regularly. i sorta mumbled under my breath for him to stop being so silly.

not only is this blog sporadic in the peppering of posts here and there, its also sporadic in its themes. this also held true for my purchases at the bookstore. the over indulgent hodgepodge i walked out with went like this:

1) 'wishful drinking"...by carrie fisher aka princess leia. a memoir about the struggles she's faced ie. drugs, bouts of depression and being bipolar. plus im a star wars geek

2) 'a million miles in a thousand years'...by donald miller. basically a memoir about a memoir. he talks about a popular previous book of his that was going to be made into a film. the subtitle reads 'what i learned while editing my life.' im not doing it justice at all but its a great read. i started with this one

3) 'boundaries with kids'...by henry cloud and john townsend. a book written by psychologists with great insight into raising 'healthy kids'.

4) 'my jesus year'...by benyamin cohen. the book is subtitled 'a rabbi's son wanders the bible belt in search of his own faith'

5) 'dirty jokes every man should know'...doogie horner. absolutely riveting stories of sex, alcohol, and lawyer jokes

6) 'mike and ike"...by sugar. a fruity candy that is a must have!

10 things you'll never hear

so quite some time has passed since my last post. dont say i didnt warn you though. as ive stated before, this time of year is really hectic and just getting a chance to sit down and type is near impossible.

anyway, i do have the desire to write/post, just not always the mental capability, or as i mentioned, the time. typically what i end up doing is making notes on random sheets of paper or on my phone and try to remember to expand the thought when my son isnt draped around my leg...(or my wife for that matter wink wink). after ive pried them off, i sit down and type the nonsense you are about to read. so until next month (hopefully not), please take your time, read and savor the morsels im sharing. its a ridiculous list of 10 things you will never ever never ever never ever hear. having stated that, here's the first...

1) 'damn. im eating ramen noodles, could you pass the salt?'

2) 'boy, mikeys mom sure does make a mean rootabaga soup'

3) 'damn. im eating ramen noodles."

4) 'brad! get the kids ready and i'll start the car. be sure to grab the list of things we need from wal mart' -- angelina jolie

5) 'sir where do you keep the rootabaga's?'

6) 'hey lets visit wyoming!'

7) 'man, my cat is soooo active!'

8) 'damn my feet smell awesome!' --any fly

9) 'they make a 50 dollar bill?!...really?!' --oprah winfrey

10) 'president george bush is in the building!' -- the future








posters note: not quite sure why im picking on rootabaga's. actually, not quite sure why im even thinkng about them, but come on!...has anyone ever actually seen a rootabaga?